Monday, June 15, 2015


The books I am currently enjoying (minus Outliers as I just finished it a few days ago); I am starting to think I may be better off getting a kindle, but I can't help letting go of the tactile... I also like the visual aspect of being able to reach one I'm in the mood for as I usually have more than three books I read at a time.  But when I think of my lifestyle, the weight and volume of books are counterintuitive.  

The other day I was at the St. Lawrence Market area, out on the patio having a nice tea break before heading off to an exhibit gathering, having the most lovely conversation online with someone in Tokyo, making faces unable to keep from smiling and chuckling, the lady with a stroller next to me looking at me as if I were crazy, I was grateful for advancements in technology keeping me connected to those from all over the world.  

The last week has been particularly difficult with much on my mind; of sorting out priorities, calculating and planning.  Oftentimes we become so busy and caught up in 'doing' and 'going', 'achieving' and 'defying' that the plot gets lost.  Amidst such stormy seas, an anchor to keep you from straying too far off; in heart, care, love, and reassurance, it can be a family member, relative, best friend, significant other, someone whom you can connect and provide perspective.  You'd be surprised who steps up to the plate in times of need; in Chicago I found it in a store clerk who was extremely generous! but usually a list of individuals you can count, in one or two hands, are those you treasure with all of your heart.

I am focusing on my priorities and the reason I moved countries in the first place.  

For the time being, a reflection from earlier this week:

2015, 16 x 12 x 1.5 in., acrylic on braced birch diptych
 The presence of the duality within all of us; in the face of fear; flight or fight?  What is it that brings the best and most courageous out of that which we didn't even know existed?  A metaphor: boys vs. men, girl vs. woman?  What is it to be human; its a Rorschach minefield, adventure, and/or amazing gift?  It can be interpreted however you see fit, I know the layers of meaning this has for me (detail: you can see the various layers of colour on the edges of the dancing line).      

CERTAIN UNCERTAINTY will be the title of the one above when it is complete.

Sunnybrook (hospital) please get me through this.

Sunday, June 7, 2015


While I go about searching and applying for possible work opportunities of good fit, many questions come to light allowing discoveries and new found ease in being (which is separate from lacking worry or anxiety due to the uncertainty of security; but over the years you learn to feel them as they come, and let them go, as focusing on it will only intensify stress and wont help matters).  

I find myself in a different place where I am not sharing too much of myself; instead focusing on nurturing and protecting this odd gift of pure authenticity, compassion and a powerful way about me that seems to influence and move individuals to be their best selves (good or bad), an encouraging spirit where I share a piece of my soul and heart, that when tampered with can affect equilibrium.

I never thought of myself as 'mysterious', but there have been a few instances here in Toronto where others have commented that they find me mysterious.  It is not my intention, this is just how I'm being in the present, but I'd say I'm more cautious, careful, and discerning.  You protect that which can get hurt or are fragile.  Whilst to the outer world, physically, things seem settled and its as if I haven't even left traveling the world at all, internally is another story and I know from experience that time and patience are the only antidote.  I'm carefully processing, observing, listening, and  being selective as everything percolates.

In times like these I tend to resort back to creating; there are a few things on the table that I am considering and working on.  

I have been exploring and getting to know Toronto all over again, enjoying the summer weather and finding footing.

Searching, discovering, recalibrating.