Yesterday I was updating my price list and rummaging through all my work in my closet when one of my pieces fell on my head... OUCH!!! The corner of the piece would have been less pointy if it weren't for the darn frame I placed the work in for one of the exhibitions I did in New York a while back. But gosh, peas on my head the whole day, and now I've got a bump to prove.
I do not like pricing my art, at least not initially as being an emerging artist I do not want to over price but at the same time I need enough to take care of my over heads; supplies, space, time, etc. Money is a reality of life but I hate it none the less. Oh well, I will eventually get the hang of the numbers when the art starts taking off.
I have been painting often as it soothes my mind and heart sort of like a meditation. I will put up a few images or a clip on youtube to let you in on the progress:) Although I have to say I dislike it when the chemical make up of my medium is compromised and turns into a lumpy disgusting mess.
How random can this post be...
I have been using Dermalogica's Medi-bac system of skin care; well just the face wash as everything else except for the over night clearing treatment really irritates my skin, but recently the face wash has been waaay too harsh on my skin making it tight, red, dry, and irritable after every wash, so I am trying out the calming face wash till my skin settles. I've always had trouble with my facial skin; so sensitive/sensitized. Stress also brings with it its unwanted red spotty friends... :(
I used to not be so allergic or sensitive to things but lately as I have gotten older I have become much more reactive; dust, nuts, fur, heavily scented things, etc. wether it be red itchy eyes, red bumpy skin, irritable digestive system, hormonal effects. I just hope these things do not get worse.
I have been on a decreased 300mg of Effexor XR anti depressant meds for a while now and since I have not been changing up my meds recently I may start decreasing the dosage after I see my psychiatrist this week. I have halved my dosage of sleepy meds (Imovane) and although the first few nights after the change I had extreme dreams I was glad I was able to fall asleep. But I always have bizarre dreams... I believe that anything foreign to the natural body will ultimately have lasting impact especially when some of these meds have not had the life span of definitive research. I hope to get off all meds some day, but that is only if I can some how have more power over my chronic depressive tendencies; or is it just a forever brain chemistry thing? Hmmm, I have and have been doing everything to cope with every depressive episode taking it as it comes, but even with all the strategies in the world and conflict resolution and all that therapy jazz, each one of these dips in mood are unique and can not be predicted. I have become highly adaptable and quite flexible to deal with these issues but some just catch me by surprise as other things in life.
So the process of self acceptance and making peace with life and the universe has been long but worth it. You just have to go through the mud, there is just no other way around it; get dirty and put in the harshest hardest work. One moment at a time I try to be present and make the most out of it. As difficult as things can be I wouldn't want it any other way.
I will always have things to work on within myself; I am my own worst enemy, critic and hard as hell on me but as long as I am honest and am aware I can not be plowed over with un-truths. As for my anxiety I am constantly working on it and trying to analyze myself and make sense of my own little world. I still have trouble going out, picking up the phone, seeing new people, and other simple things (which are like mountains to me and not simple in the least), and I know people get frustrated with me and some lose hope and stop trying but it is up to me to realize my own little proud accomplishments and journeys; one tiny thing at a time, and this changes on a daily basis. It is a pain in the ass I tell you and I dislike it as I do sushi!!! (yes, I know I am Japanese, but I don't like anything raw, never liked the texture).
I am rambling so I need to get going. Oh I just got this new night time tea to try to help with calming the nerves before bed; Valerian Plus by Dr. Stuart's Teas. I shall see if this one does anything; and yes I have probably tried every kind of sleepy tea:) I actually really like the one with the cute sleeping bear on the front of the box, I mean how can you resist, hehe.
Will upload some images soon. Please take care and keep on SMILING!