Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Life is full of trials and errors, experimentation, figuring it out.

My whole life has been riddled with trial and errors, taking risks, overcoming challenges, and experimentation.  This being said I shall present you with my most recent experience: the new youtube channel.

This is how I am feeling about it... HAHAHAHA~
That's just classic!  Yes I make a fool out of myself every day, these are the things that make life colorful.

As I was setting up my new youtube channel and doing some research into its competition, creating a filming schedule, and putting my hard work into all that I do, it hit me: 
This is taking too much time away from being in the studio making art!!!  
So I looked over my brainstorming session which I do in my drawing journal as well as, sifting thoughts, questioning my own decision, and taking a closer look at my main youtube channel, I realized, that it is in fact quite okay the way it is and represents me accurately enough, and that it is not in my best interest to create another 'fashion' channel: reasoning:
1) There are already so many out there.
2) In a society obsessed with youth there isn't much longevity in me at 30 sharing myself in the fashions and styles.  
3) Whatever that would be in the new channel can already be represented on the main channel, yes it may not have a 'niche' or 'narrow focus' but that's okay as I am not one dimensional and I like to keep it interesting as I am.  
4) On a gut level, the channel just wasn't me.  
5) I know that some topics are clashing and are mutually exclusive in society, but that's okay as I will create my own unique culture anyways!  
6) My universal truths will always stand strong and sometimes this may include topics that may not like sitting next to each other, but as in elementary school we learn to deal and adapt; so too shall this channel and whomever comes in contact.

So, I have taken down the new channel and decided to spend more time on the channel that already exists; full of dynamic unique multi-dimension.    

Life is full of trials and errors, I love experimenting and finding out for myself that sticking a finger in a crabs face, I will be pinched, or burnt by coral, stung by jelly fish, bitten by squirrel, foot will hurt being run over by Jeep Grand Cherokee, and that a pizza box as a hat doesn't suit me...  I learn, adjust, and keep moving forward.  

I am full of mistakes made, thank you for being understanding and continuing to follow me through the journey, I am grateful everyday that I am human:)

I truly appreciate good hearted individuals, friends, and supports.  Thank you for being!  



  1. One channel ? Two channels ? We don't mind, do what's good for you ! All I know is every time I see your face a big smile is painted on my face so all I need is some update from time to time and I think I would be happy ! You are a wonderfull person I love to watch when I'm tired, you give me positive energy . I don't know if all of this have any sense but keep on being you because for me you rock !

    1. Thank you so much!!! It means so much to me!!!

  2. I totally second that! I love the thought processes employed in making the decision, you are definitely a cerebral and empathetic person. It seems that you do not want to sacrifice your creative bandwidth and yet you gotta make a living. Such is the artist's dilemma, hard choices that will always be challenging. I thank you for your honesty and I am happy to see you managing your brand on terms that satisfy your sense of being!

    1. Such is an artist's dilemma, so true! Making art is most important to me and nothing will keep me from creating:) Thank you for the comment:)

  3. I'm a little disappointed you didn't go down the fashion path as you look stunning in latex, and project a absolutely enchanting persona. Also thirty is not old!
    However you do have to be happy with what you are doing so all the best with creating, as you say a "unique culture" with your channel. Maybe you will help to open some minds to the possibilities in life.

  4. No thirty is not old, and I didn't say I wasn't going to be putting up any more latex videos:) We shall see. It will keep things exciting:) Thank you for your input.

  5. More latex fasion. I love it when soneones outside the box :-)

  6. Marie you look so silly and cute in that picture, how endearing:) Really layin it all out there, admitting mistakes, but always evolving. Its just so sweet of you to share your work and the crazy little artist behind it. No matter what you do, please be kind to yourself, and as Steve Jobs said once to a bunch of students ‘Stay hungry. Stay foolish.’ Pizza box girl!!!

    1. Pizza box girl is right! LOL, thank you for the input, I truly appreciate it:) I will try my hardest to be kind to myself. Thank you.