This is how I am feeling about it... HAHAHAHA~
That's just classic! Yes I make a fool out of myself every day, these are the things that make life colorful.
As I was setting up my new youtube channel and doing some research into its competition, creating a filming schedule, and putting my hard work into all that I do, it hit me:
This is taking too much time away from being in the studio making art!!!
So I looked over my brainstorming session which I do in my drawing journal as well as, sifting thoughts, questioning my own decision, and taking a closer look at my main youtube channel, I realized, that it is in fact quite okay the way it is and represents me accurately enough, and that it is not in my best interest to create another 'fashion' channel: reasoning:
1) There are already so many out there.
2) In a society obsessed with youth there isn't much longevity in me at 30 sharing myself in the fashions and styles.
3) Whatever that would be in the new channel can already be represented on the main channel, yes it may not have a 'niche' or 'narrow focus' but that's okay as I am not one dimensional and I like to keep it interesting as I am.
4) On a gut level, the channel just wasn't me.
5) I know that some topics are clashing and are mutually exclusive in society, but that's okay as I will create my own unique culture anyways!
6) My universal truths will always stand strong and sometimes this may include topics that may not like sitting next to each other, but as in elementary school we learn to deal and adapt; so too shall this channel and whomever comes in contact.
So, I have taken down the new channel and decided to spend more time on the channel that already exists; full of dynamic unique multi-dimension. http://www.youtube.com/user/BeingMarieT
Life is full of trials and errors, I love experimenting and finding out for myself that sticking a finger in a crabs face, I will be pinched, or burnt by coral, stung by jelly fish, bitten by squirrel, foot will hurt being run over by Jeep Grand Cherokee, and that a pizza box as a hat doesn't suit me... I learn, adjust, and keep moving forward.
I am full of mistakes made, thank you for being understanding and continuing to follow me through the journey, I am grateful everyday that I am human:)
I truly appreciate good hearted individuals, friends, and supports. Thank you for being!