Monday, March 16, 2015


Since I have been back in Detroit MI having said my farewells in Tokyo, and the best send off I've ever experienced, here I am, once again putting my mind/nose to the grind.
One of my greatest strengths is finding energy, heart, resources, and motivation where none would usually exist.  The same determination and discipline that made me walk out of my week long stay in the ICU (forget that the head of psychiatry was a complete jerk), the concentration it takes to overcome the pain of a broken foot while dancing as the lead in Swan Lake (hey the show had to go on), the hell that was, the fight of my life to live again; functioning, thriving, giving back, and embracing the exuberance of life.  My decision to move to Tokyo, and having done so, setting up, starting work, within a month of the job offer and interview.  Or deciding at age 12 to pursue a career in ballet, and actually doing so, recruited by a company in Tokyo at 16 whilst going to high school.  Making my visual art career happen from scratch, when my vehicle for self expression in dancing retired, completely self taught (  The same drive that pushed for a business trip from HK-NRT-SF-LAX-YYZ via Denver-back to NRT happen, starting from Art Basel HK, doing artist studio, and gallery visits throughout.  And now, I find myself much like a high performance athlete, restructuring my mindset to focus on that which needs progress, yet again.  I don't play or sit around, I make things happen in/for my life, unafraid to take calculated risks and achieve what I want and need.  I have to admit, I am relentless, and a bit abnormal in that sense...

I gave myself enough time to SLEEP (the dinners, events, parties, get togethers, up to literally the morning of my departure probably resulted in more all-nighters than I had since my high school/university days), returning back to healthy eating patterns (I'm a veggie lover, although I like my lean meats too, lots of fruit, fluids, and detox off all alcohol spare a few sips of wine here or there), quiet time and space to process EVERYTHING in my own way, to remember, to truly embrace memories significant to me, so that they shall remain forever, never forgotten or taken for grated.  I gave myself yesterday to grieve, miss, and cry about the temporary losses that come with any move/transition.  Halved the already halved dosage of sleepy meds I've been taking at night, put myself on a sleep schedule, with a little help from Clover who lets me know she's hungry and needs walkies:)  Jet lag is practically gone.

Ready to strategically plan out my next move to Toronto Canada (helps that I know the city somewhat) .  Finding a rental property; location/$/variables.  Finding work to support living costs.  Looking into transferring university credits, and options.  Creating social networks from scratch, where I am, now (who is at a completely different place than I was when I left for Tokyo 2 years ago).  Setting up medical supports, and plan a course as I see fit with professionals.  Those are just the major things, amongst the paperwork, logistics, and everything that needs updating/renewing.

And what am I listening to while I go about all this?
HAVE YOU EVER REALLY LOVED A WOMAN? (Don Juan DeMarco soundtrack version) by Bryan Adams
CONQUEROR by Estelle
ONLY ONE by Kanye West
BED OF LIES feat. Skylar Grey by Nicki Minaj
I CHOOSE YOU by Sara Bareilles
TOO LONG by Charlie Winston
are recent songs... all amongst the other oldie but goodies on my playlists:)

Right now, I'm feeling vulnerable; but strengthened by love and quiet knowing.

We'll see where this adventure takes us!



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