Thursday, March 25, 2010

Random input

So here I am facing my laptop again pondering about my wee little space of comfort that I take along with me wherever I travel; me myself and I, and a few essentials.  It takes a long long time for me to settle into any one place, and I don't think I have ever had the opportunity to actually settle or grow roots.  So instead of place or environment or stuff I grew roots with in me and started researching and collecting vital information about who I am as a person and the inner workings of an individual.  I love psychology, analyzing the multi dimensional layers that complicate everything about existing, I think it fascinating and enriching.  So naturally I would believe I would be sane and well rounded but this is not so the case.  I am forever tweaking, fixing, fine tuning, balancing, trying, undoing, changing, evolving, progressing, plateauing, pacing the complex machine and it is frustrating but an adventure none the less.  I am determined I will be satisfied and to some extent I am in every moment as I try to live in the now, but distractions flood the discipline of being in the present and float me elsewhere.  It is very hard to come back from wherever I floated off to, as well as tuning into the moment again.  It is a frustrating world.  I believe being an artist in this day in age is filled with obstacles but then again there was more resistance back in the day so I can't really say, but maybe it would be more simple, or easier living next to an ocean, calm and peaceful without the clutter of city life, to listen to the self, be able to reflect and not so distracted as I am and find myself more often.  

I do have a dear ol' head ache again and the muscles that keep my eyes open hurt so I may have to end this here but I will write again, my random thoughts.

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