Few random facts about me.

My favorite color is the spectrum of blue pigments.

I love music that moves my soul.

My music is usually cranked up high while I paint.

For me the painting is more about movement and body.

I love to dance.

I can not live without the feeling of being 'in the zone' or feeling totally free while I am creating.

I speak more through body language, facial expression, gestures, posture, interaction through dance, touch, senses, than actually speaking.  I like to express myself through music too.

I am as compassionate as they come.

Passionate as they come.

Determined as hell and ambitious.

Superficial 'stuff' is exactly that; things, junk, stuff.  

I loath materialism and superficiality.

I am of values morals and honesty.

I am hypersensitive to everything.

I am very interpersonal.

I constantly analyze myself and how I relate to the world and people around me.

I love honest people who communicate their thoughts and feelings.

I hate bullshit.

Users, fakers, liars, players, cold hearted mean people can stay in their sad pathetic world.

I am forgiving.

I am a person for giving chances.

I am more tolerating than humanly possible.

Patient, yes, but there is always a limit.

I am independent.

I am a deep souled individual;multi faceted, multi dimensional, broad minded.

I am accepting.  

I do not judge, discriminate or allow prejudice; I have experienced too much of it in my life and I would never in my dreams treat anyone as I have been treated.  

I love wildlife.

I am a Gemini; which makes me the tinker bell, the most curious, with twinkle in her eyes, the quintessential tomboy, tough little bird, multi tasker (major), rapid fire mind/intellect, clumsy, eager to play, full on experience, hurtle head over heels into the abyss of love, neurotic, her mind becomes a whirl of every possible opinion others might have of her, needs to be stimulated mentally, picky, adventurous, she is the nerviest creature in the zodiac, etc 

a few things from the astrology book; Sextrology by Starsky and Cox.

The type of guy I like in terms of celebrity looks: Brad Pitt, T.I., Keeanu Reeves, Denzel Washington, Hugh Jackman, etc.  

I floss my teeth every night, and am obsessed with oral hygiene.

I have a phobia of phone calls.  

I am arachnophobic.

Hopeless romantic at heart

DREAMY PERFORMANCE

I am a sensitive hopeless romantic at heart.

I often float in dreamy imagination and wish the excitement would only happen in reality.  As reality is, love is hard to come by and not of fairy tales, romance novels, or teenage rapture.  I do though love a romantic man, one who can lift me off my feet and enthrall me.  I have yet to really experience this but I am a hopeless romantic and keep on believing.  

MEN IN TIES

This is a piece I did ages ago called MEN IN TIES.

Men in suits, men in ties, men in powerful positions, men in charge, etc...  to that I'd say WOMEN IN PENCIL SKIRTS and HEELS!!!

I have a vision, I know what I want, what I need, what my standards are, what clientele I want to target, the height at which I operate, where I want to be in the world, my goals, dreams, values, morals, beliefs, passions, powers as a woman.  I need to stick to it and not be sidelined, I am determined and a firecracker when it comes to life purpose and the way I see fit (for me).  

Never under estimate yourself and the knowledge you've gained over the years of yourself as only you can know yourself the best; this I know is true.  I've backed myself up all my life and I've never been a clique-y group-y person and yes it can get lonely and sometimes insecure but at the end no matter where you are, what you are doing, with whom, when, why, you always have yourself and the foundation, the roots which run deep within to define and make up who you are as an individual.  That power and strength is priceless.  

This is why I say BEING Marie Tomeoki.  It is as raw as you can get, the true essence of your soul, heart, mind, and self.   

I am a sewing queen!!!

This is what happens when I am hell bent on improving my sewing skills and/or just curious as to what I can create when I get my hands on some fun textiles.  

This is genuine traditional Isle of Skye Scottish quilt which I got from Scotland; gosh come to think of it, it reminds me a lot of my uniform skirt from high school...uggh, well, back to the point, my dog Clover is a pedigree Cairn Terrier and the breed originates back to the Isle of Skye, hunting the piles of rock (cairns) for vermin and other fascinating wonders!  

I decided to make her a bandana; poor pooch.  In the heat of summer all she needs is a good stripping and bath, not a damn woolen scarf bandana thing!  

So as boring as this may be and as crazy as you all may think I am I have documented the process... biggest DORK!  yes... complete geekoid...  AND I have no sewing machine so it's all done by hand:)  My mom would be proud, oh and maybe that class in seventh grade in Indiana did help some with sewing skills; I think the name of the teacher was Mrs. Hornbacker, home-ec teacher.  

Two pieces of fabric inside out.  Hem edges so the fabric wont unravel.  Sew them together.  Create beveled edge so it reduces bulk for later step taken.  

Stick some nice graphics on there, remember that everything needs to be done inside out so none of the seems will show.

Keep small hole open so you can flip the thing inside out.

Flipped out the right way.  Clover graphic on corner; yes I did that by hand too, every freakin' thread!

This is the little obsidian heart stone bead side...........

You will need the iron.  You will iron your head off, since you need to do all the seams, edges, everything.

This is the end result; the side with Clover graphic, I didn't bother taking the other side.  LOL.

Clover did not appreciate my intricate workmanship.  Sigh.....  Maybe in the winter she will change her mind.

I am sick of tartan, next creative project?

Positive Affirmations

Sometimes you just need to give others a chance and not be so protective of the presumed self.  Opportunities, new adventures may be right around the corner, you never know unless you take that first step.

CND Nail Polish

Gosh it is so hard for the colors to come off accurately with this webcam on my Macbook Pro, I think I will try doing the pictures on my Nikon from now on for everything.  Anyways, this is CND nail polish in Poppy Field (one coat), with CND nail effects polish in Sapphire sparkle (one coat).  It looks hot coral in some angles while it can look neon pink in others as well as the blue sparkles add a punch of something different and make it all very shiny.  I love colors and experimenting layering even nail colors as I do my paint.  

NEED SOLUTION

NEED SOLUTION

Sorry for the rant the other day, I felt I needed to get it out on my system.  I am going through a bit of an inner power struggle that is happening in the subconscious and I am trying to work through it and change the things that I am unhappy with and unhealthy for me.  It is hard to change something that is so deeply conditioned from when you were so little, but as always I am set on improving myself so I will do it.

I have a few things I have been thinking about; art related and I may be on to something and it might turn into something huge so I shall see.  I am still at the researching point so it will take a while especially if I am going to go forth on my own art direction and production... hmmm, may ask a few people for advice or input.  This idea is for L.A. and it will be a proposal for any investors or individuals or galleries interested.  So I shall keep on keeping on with this idea and carry on.  

This painting is called RAGE, but this is a blog about something that I hate!

Rage.

One thing that truly rubs me the wrong way and I know pisses me off is-----> silent guilt trip, or hints that I am not doing something to another persons liking in a very passive aggressive non communicative form, or doing and acting in ways that tell me to do what the other wants or something already expected of me, or not being straight with me and confronting me; spit the fuck out!!!  Lay it all out on the table!!!  I HATE, H-A-T-E, loath, despise passive aggressive behavior and unhealthy communication.  I have had enough of it throughout my life I will not put up with it in my adult healthy life style.  

That being said right now I am infuriated and affected, when I wish and would rather not be.  Healthy relationships are difficult.  I support positive and rational 99.9% backed by psychological studies relationship dynamics; I get it, it works and I've experienced it work first hand.  

Problem; majority of the world does not or have not been through a formal "skills" group or "assertiveness" training or specialized in psych or raised and brought up with such healthy family or relationship dynamics.  You don't go to a class in elementary school that teaches you the healthy ways of communicating and dealing with real life issues.  So I feel a lot of the time I am probably better off in a psych ward that actually teaches and makes their patients go through assertiveness group, or skills group, or self esteem encouragement and the like!   

So for backing my positive and healthy communication and relationship theories I am at the moment being totally shut down and out of this little dispute as the other person says I am out of line and totally negates, doesn't get, can not understand where I am coming from.  I believe it is not that hard to follow!!!  Common sense!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH MY GOSH, this drives me mad, every time, this person just DOES NOT GET IT!!!  Then there is always the response; that is so unfair M, or what are you talking about, or I haven't done anything intentionally.... well, duh, I wish you would do things more intentionally so I wont be so f-ing so frustrated and feeling like I'm going mad.  This is called a PASSIVE aggressive behavior, silent guilt treatment, OF COURSE it is unintentional!!!  

I have had enough of this, I am so pissed and tired of going through over and over again and in different ways and times uggg, I NEED!!! a HEALTHY POSITIVE RATIONAL ASSERTIVE PRO-COMMUNICATION RELATIONSHIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I can not stress this enough!  

Music

Workin' It

MUSIC:  I get asked pretty often what kind of music I like listening to and I am usually defeated to answering 'don't get me started' or 'everything under the moon' 'from classical to rap'... etc...  But here are a few I have been liking lately.

Up Up and Away by Kid Cudi

Young Forever (feat. Mr. Hudson) by Jay-Z

Tell You Something (Nana's Reprise) by Alicia Keys

Cross the Line by John Legend

Driving Me Crazy by Sam Adams

It Don't Make Any Difference to Me (feat. Wyclef Jean) by Kevin Michael

Demo (Letzter Tag) by Herbert Gronemeyer (German)

Aria and 30 Variations (the Goldberg Variations), BMV 988: Aria by Nodar Gabunia

Take A Bow by Rihanna

Freedom by Akon

Heard 'Em Say (Featuring Adam Levin) by Kanye West

Remember Me (feat Mary J. Blige) by T.I.

No Substitute Love by Estelle

And some more...  But living in Detroit game me a flavor of rap, R & B, soul, jazz, and the under ground music scene, living in Tokyo I was influenced by Japanese favorites, then I had a thing for European music while in Tokyo as well and that developed, I went through the techno synth phase, and all my life I've always been influenced by classical music from ballet, I even had a time I liked country when I lived in Columbus Indiana, I also started listening to music from different ethnicities I wasn't already exposed to.  All but death metal and the mindless.   I am very open minded, and I like music that moves me.

Moves

Just listening to some recent music I downloaded and feeling a little better but still in the grey.  This ones called MOVES.

I love creating pieces that have movement; attitude, gesture, posture, curve, flow, accent, style, direction, strength, bodily expression.  

I WANT TO HIDE!

Why is it that when I am exhausted; emotionally and mentally wiped out that I can not sleep!!!?  It drives me crazy, the sleep deprivation only makes things worse.  I feel terrible, I look horrific, my thoughts running foul and am not in a good place right now.  

I just want to hide under a rock!

iRobot

Oh wow, this iphone takes pretty nice photos; and how long have I had the phone for?  A while, and I am only now trying the camera in it, I'm low tech, what can I say...

But, this little gadget, is the funniest thing; an iRobot, Roomba, vacuum thing-a-ma-jig.  It is on a trial case right now but it has quite the brain; it maps out the interior of your place and remembers the dimensions, it docs itself to the 'home base' charging station, it talks to you, speaks to it self, changes settings on different surfaces, has timers, and everything anyone could as for (for the guys, maybe all but the maids out fit, hehe).  I believe it also converses in different languages and you can give it vocal commands and it will obey as you please.  Silly thing really, but has a bit of a character, like R2D2.  It has sensors and runs into stuff to take info; so the little thing is vacuuming along and then bang here bang there bump here whoopsies there, but every time it learns and maneuvers it self back facing another new direction.

For those of you OCD clean freaks, I can imagine you having one in every room all timed and set to clean exactly where and when you want it.  I only have one but that is enough for me, I'm pretty easy going when it comes to cleaning.  And I do not know how I would feel with so many little robots doing its own thang at once; that would make me go nuts.  I've got enough to deal with in my own brain, constantly going and coming up with more ideas and new stuff, here, there and everywhere.  Totally and completely random too, my brain...  its just how I work.

So I shall keep on seeing how the robot does its job.  As for me, I have a lot on my mind right now and know I will not be having the best week...  I will post more on that later.  The iRobot Roomba will keep me preoccupied for the time being. 

Reminded me of yellow spandex dragonfly...

The other day a picture reminded me of the days when I performed...  This one is me as the 'head' dragonfly, hehehe.  Antenna, a pain in the ass to dye that puke-yellow colored ballet shoes, and what the hell are those sad excuses of wings!!!???  Did I feel totally exposed, umm, yes!  I can laugh now, memories~  

Augh, My Shit Smells of Potpourri (nose up in the air with strong English accent)

This is what I think of whenever there are those snobbish, rude, superficial, funny as heck people I see; don't let them affect you, just fly over their heads and laugh within at how sad they are.  

Going to upscale boutiques or shops, certain communities cliques, etc I see these people and I want to say to them; "what!?  And your shit smells of roses?!" 

Butter London Nail Varnish

I have tried the Butter of London brand of nail polish and I did not like them at all.  I tried them with base coat, top coat, every which way possible but the color was streaky, didn't last, and overall a pain in the butt.  I tried the colors Swinger and Billy No Mates.

Essie Nail Polish in Sag Harbor

This color is very unique, when in the bottle it looks like there are little tiny silver shimmers but it goes on completely creamy and not as blue as in the picture.  I think it is more of a muted grey blue with green undertones.  Has great lasting power and I am just having fun experimenting with color lately as I LOVE color!

What Constitutes a QUICKIE?

This question just popped up in my head; what is a quickie?  

Granted all of our perceptions varied, personal, and different it still made me ponder the criteria for a 'quickie'.  I am not one to believe in criteria, or labels, ticking off boxes, or the 'should be's' and 'have to's' of the world, etc but I am just plain curious.  

Quickie in my mind is to have a quick shag/sex/fuck/excuse the French but put your word of choice here.  You just wanna get it on, and bang.  Tired, no time, kids, boredom, whatever it is the reason it is a fast one.  Well, I guess that would work out for the male as it is rather easier to 'up and go' so to speak, but how about for the females out there?  I guess some get off on the sheer naughtiness of it or maybe you can't resist the guy, etc but will you ultimately be satisfied in the end or will you be left horny and antsy the rest of the day?  Hmmm.  

So how long is a quickie usually?  Guys usually get their business done, so how about the gals?  Can/will the girl be satisfied or have an orgasm, or is this for another time when there is more time with all the lavishings of foreplay and the works?  So my question to you today is how does a quickie work for you?  

Oh by the way my thoughts on quickies?  I think it's hot spontaneous fun instantaneous of the moment sexy and playful.  Will I be left unsatisfied; well, no I feel satisfied every time, but this doesn't mean I have an earth shattering O, LOL, every time.  Orgasm doesn't really equal satisfaction to me, yes it would be nice to reach that sort of climactic high but hey, if I can be with the one I love and get it on, be healthy, have fun, play a little, tear each other's clothes off and fuck for the sake of just fucking I believe I am satisfied!  Do I make my case!?  Hahaha.  

Ya gotta turn up the heat be naughty and wild and 'insert' some fun and play in your lives!  Yes, I may not come across as so on first impression but I love my naughty bad girl dirty little adventurous devil tail me too; if you're lucky enough to ever encounter that side of me that is, hehehe.  I think you can see it once in a while in daily life, just being me, but it takes time for me to get to know anyone for me to let my guards down.  Some mystery and secret is sex appeal; gotta keep it aflame!

   

SPLAT!

What a weekend... I decided to take two classes in a row on Saturday and I was very pleased with myself as I was able to get through them and felt good about it, but as I was anticipating the class as well as having someone back in the condo with me I believe I missed a few steps in my usual routine; MEDS.  Skipping meds rarely happens but when it does it hits hard; very real, vivid, emotional, and exhausting dreams, restlessness, muscle spasms, head flashes, total sleepiness, sensitivity, dizziness, and cold sweats.  So on top of the major body shock of two classes in a row, muscle aches, and the change of having someone else in the condo when I have been on my own for the last month was ground shaking.  

I tend to talk in my sleep a lot, as well as snore when my sinuses kick in so it was a restless night, not to mention crying spells, emotional breakdown in my dream, and constantly waking up to catch my breath and de-thaw.  I feel completely wiped today, in a mind fog and the weather being so pressurized and unpredictable never helps, I just hope to stand ground and keep myself stable within the rocking boat.  

Yes, I feel like I have splattered on to a windshield of a car going super speed.  

I need to get out of Toronto; how long have I been saying this for?  Too long.  Opportunity will strike.