Monday, April 12, 2010

(My) Heart

Some days I feel I am out of reach, from my own heart.  It is as if it disconnects from my mind and body, it floats off creating a soft foggy concave emptiness.  The emptiness can feel different depending on the day; sharp and penetrating, deep and heavy, pressurized and constant, throbbing and achy, or just a vast 'blah'.  It is frustrating and I feel mocked as my heart seems to be in reach as I chase the slippery enticing mirage.  My brain fogs up as without the heart what good is the brain?  It may seem like I am searching but I am not as my heart is right there in front of me, clear as day, and I know my heart inside and out; it just popped out of my chest leaving a void.  I dislike this feeling as I feel incomplete and dysfunctional, I want to yell 'where is my whole self today!?'  I wonder if anyone else has these days where either the mind or heart decides to plop away leaving an emptiness.

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